Saddend

It's saddening to hear about the Indian plane crash this morning. The premonitions are hard to bare knowing that lives will be affected by it. I felt it! I felt it! I once again felt it!!! Yah help me to control it to maybe help before it happens. To know where, what time and anything else I may need to know.

Dream/Premonitions

I know that i said that i was going to try to ignore the feelings again because i already know what they mean but this one is different. Along with the feelings today was especially something. I've been tired and drained all day, eyes were blood shot read and i've been silent. Last night i had a dream that involved me trying to tell people the truth behind what they have been learning and it was at a building where a mega church was.  While there i received information that a nuclear missile was heading toward a town called Lewis center Ohio. It was originally aimed somewhere else but was headed for this place. I tried to warn everyone and while doing it i went to the roof where it was a woman and her child just waiting for the event to happen and refused to leave. I left and took the elevator down to the main floor  where i and my oldest daughter were and when were leaving. As we were looking for vehicles to leave i took one vehicle and she took another. We ended up being dopped off at a gas station and while there as we look toward where we were just at we saw the missile hit and a big mushroom cloud. I don't know if was just a dream or if it has some hidden meaning to it. what ever it is Today was not a very good day for me. dazing off into space, zoning, not very talkative and just not much in a mood for anything. Tomorrow i have my therapy session and i'm looking forward to it. Lets see what she has to say about it. Sigh........ Every since my leave from the hospital 2 years and 2 months ago things just hasn't been the same!

Adjustment

The last 2 days has been rough for me. The realization of what has and is happening to me is a lot. I'm left once again trying to place myself in the mix of this world. It's been 2 years and 2 months since my reintroduction. The first year (2017) was a year of physical rehabilitation now this year (2018) has begun the task of mental rehabilitation which seems to be harder than the latter. It's been very difficult for me but not impossible. Heavy is this crown!!!

Helpless

As i look at this world and once again observe it's nature i'm both anger, saddend and helpless. The so called leader of this country and some of it's people have shown to be heartless, lack compassion and full of hatred of people that dont look like them. It's a normal thing for this country and it's heartning for those who have to sit back and observe. if you speak against the establishment and it's actions it's met with more hate and discuss. it saddens me to see these things and know that it's not much that i can do about it. I'm against injustices and evils against all Yah's creation.  He will avenge his people and the oppressed it's the patience of waiting till he does it is what hurts. I guess i now how my ancestors like Moses, Enoch and Elijah felt. I mean these people won't give compassion and mercy to others but when the tables are turned and their lives are in the balance it will be those same people seeking it from others. The only thing i can do is continue to pray.

End of this age dream

I just awoke from a very disturbing dream. The mother of my children tore my life apart . she ised my family against me, accused me if abusing her, bought new things like a 2019 Chevy truck at my expense. Called the shetrif on me with the accusations. She them broight them into an establishment with children to accuse me. I was shocked and disturbed amd heated. The more she said the more I got upset. Then she proceeded outside and I followed her. And at the curb was waiting the where it in his car. I tried to explain myself to him but he told me to shut up and be quiet. He Then had me come with him and her to get every one I knew in her new vehicle. After we picked up everyone we went to a Chipotle that was huge and it was hundred of people that knew me that was waiting to hear what this man has to say. Everyone was getting rowdy and he ordered everyone to be quiet. He then played a video and that was it. After the video everyone was asking me what was going on but I was told that I couldn't respond at that moment. I remember seeing old friends, my cousin Marcus and I was holding his child. All of a sudden it started lightening and thundering and the baby started to cry. He came and got the child, called his wife over and they gave it a bottle. Mean while the storm started getting worse and an emergency siren started to sound. The sprinklers went off and everyone started running for cover. After we got the sprinklers off the siren was still going and we started looking for shelter. We searched everywhere and ended in the basement. Some of the walls were opened amd couldn't be closed. All of a sudden you could see the outside where it seemed that the storm was getting worse but it was no rain just the lightening. Firefighters were trying to save people outside and they weirdly were trying to fill the place with dogs. Lol. I know sounda crazy to me too. But as I looked outside while I was lying on the floor undwr a table trying to keep sheltered inoticed cars flying by outside and buildings and the sky started turning red. And the redder it got I noticed that we were in theend times. Wr All were convinced that a nuclear blast or something had occurred and it was the end. All of a sudden I saaw the outside consumed in this evaporating, disintegrating fire ball amd Then us. And I just ceased to exist. Funny thing about it was that I had the same same feeling when I died before. Wasn't scared and just stopped living on this plane. Then I woke up. I don't know if this was a vision or what. I'll figure itout in the am.

Visions

the other day i had those feelings again right before something happens in life about death. I didn't post this time because it's obvious what happens afterwards. So now when i have them i just won't talk about them but instead work on deciphering how to know when they happen. Also i have been just focusing on continuing to work on my patience and relationship with Yah. I'll get it together.

Thus far!!!

This is the afternoon of the 7th and 20 people were killed in upstate New York in an limo accident. And I just noticed that the feelings I had on the 20 something was right before the Indonesia earthquakes.